Wherever You Are, Be There

Wherever You Are, Be There by Jim Rohn

One of the major reasons why we fail to find happiness or to create a unique lifestyle is because we have not yet mastered the art of being.

While we are at home, our thoughts are still absorbed with solving the challenges we face at the office. And when we are at the office we find ourselves worrying about problems at home.

We go through the day without really listening to what others are saying to us. We may be hearing the words, but we aren’t absorbing the message.

As we go through the day we find ourselves focusing on past experiences or future possibilities. We are so involved in yesterday and tomorrow that we never even notice that today is slipping by.

We go through the day rather than getting something from the day. We are everywhere at any given moment in time except living in that moment in time.

Lifestyle is learning to be wherever you are. It is developing a unique focus on the current moment, and drawing from it all of the substance and wealth of experience and emotions that it has to offer. Lifestyle is taking time to watch a sunset. Lifestyle is listening to silence. Lifestyle is capturing each moment so that it becomes a new part of what we are and of what we are in the process of becoming. Lifestyle is not something we do; it is something we experience. And until we learn to be there, we will never master the art of living well.

Jim Rohn had the unique ability to bring extraordinary insights to ordinary success principles and life experiences. Check out the Jim Rohn Exceptional Life Set, a special limited-time offer of Jim Rohn programs that includes hours of powerful lessons that will improve your outlook and move your life toward the exceptional! Click here for more info or to order.

Everything Counts

It amazes me to see how many people:

- Listen to nasty music and think it won't affect them.

- Watch bad images and think they will not be impacted by them.

- Lie, cheat, and steal and think that it will not undermine their
reputation.

- Are late, unprepared and apathetic and think that it will not
impact their income potential.

- Make excuses and blame others for their sorry state and think
that it serves a useful purpose.

- Surround themselves with a lousy reference group and think that
they will not become just like them.

- Gossip about and criticize other people and think that it does
not demonstrate a lack of character.

- Expose their mind and soul to behavioral indecencies and really
think that it will not negatively impact their results.

These people are delusional if they think that’s the case.

UNFORTUNATELY, far too many are OVER-EXPOSED to these behavioral
indecencies which add absolutely no value to their lives.

In fact, by remaining exposed to these indecencies, they are in
effect digging a grave which they may never climb out of.

THE SOLUTION

You must never forget that your mind thinks about what it is
exposed too.

Therefore, consciously give serious and consistent exposure to
whatever is:

- True

- Noble

- Right

- Pure

- Lovely

- Admirable

If anything is excellent or praiseworthy—expose yourself
accordingly.

YOUR TWO-STEP CHALLENGE

Your challenge each and every day is twofold:

Step 1. Expose yourself to new ideas, to stimulating conversation,
to positivity, to good—honorable people, to quality music, to
healthy food, and...anything that is virtuous.

Step 2. Expose other people to your good character, sound judgment,
and to your helpful nature. You must expose people to the example
you want emulated in society.



--Gary Ryan Blair, Everything Counts


To order Gary's program, click here.

Dr. Gary Null's Simple Steps to Change Your Life

Gary Null, PhD

Most of us would like to make positive changes in our lives, but old habits and beliefs are hard to shake. The way our minds work is a big part of the reason why.

Memories of the past dominate our subconscious thoughts, playing and replaying in our heads like videotapes. If these mental tapes tell us that a cigarette will help us relax, then it will be difficult to quit smoking... if the tapes tell us that overeating cheers us when we’re depressed, then it will be difficult to lose weight... and if the tapes remind us that previous attempts at self-improvement failed, we might not try again.
To move past our mental videotapes and change our lives for the better...

Choose a goal and go. Decide what change you wish to make... determine what you can do at this very moment to get the ball rolling in that direction... and take this action now, even if it is very small.

Example: When I decided to film a documentary, I started doing research immediately, even though I hadn’t yet secured funding, distribution or a camera crew.
Making immediate progress toward change makes ambitious goals seem achievable. The feeling of accomplishment and momentum created by this initial progress can help eliminate doubts about your capacity for change.

Take a step toward your goal each day. When you look at yourself in the mirror each morning, take a moment to be pleased about the progress you have made toward achieving positive change... then decide what you will do today to build upon that progress.

Example: If your goal is to lose weight, you could resolve to find a healthy new recipe on the Internet today and prepare it for dinner tonight.

Choose reality over fantasy. Take the time you’re tempted to spend dreaming about changing your life and use it to make some changes instead.

Example: Don’t waste the evening staring at the TV, wishing you were a novelist. Start writing.

Turn off unhelpful automatic responses. Our natural reactions might seem appropriate to us at the time, but they can stand in the way of making positive change.

Common change-inhibiting reactions include feeling inadequate... being judgmental... obsessing over past mistakes... blaming others for problems... being impatient... procrastinating... and not listening to input from others.

If you are uncertain what counterproductive natural reactions stand in your way, start a journal and keep notes on which of your responses don’t seem wise in hindsight. Patterns will emerge.
Pick one to eliminate. When you catch yourself turning to this counterproductive reaction, think Stop. Take a deep breath, then try a different response to the situation. Expect this to feel uncomfortable at first.

Example: If you often are impatient, you might say to yourself, I’m not going to get upset about the length of this supermarket checkout line. I’m going to choose a magazine off the rack and calmly read it until it’s my turn.
Once you have broken one problematic pattern, take aim at another.

Find a support team. No one but you can bring positive change to your life -- but that doesn’t mean you have to do it alone. Meet with a professional counselor, join a peer support group or befriend someone who has made the change that you wish to achieve.

Example: Hire a financial planner to help you start saving.

Review the day’s progress each night. This forces us to confront missteps and allows us to enjoy progress. Consider how you would have lived this day if you were not making changes... then consider how you actually lived it. Try to create a headline for your day.

Example: If your goal is to become more assertive, a headline might be, "I stood up for my department in the monthly budget meeting."


Incorporate sacrifice and service into your regular routine. Find a way to give back every week. Donate time to a charity... or help a friend in need. Helping other people improve their lives will increase your confidence that you can improve your own. And volunteering can connect you with your community, preventing loneliness and depression.

Find perspective. Our fearful minds can make our problems seem more daunting than they really are. When your challenges seem insurmountable, pick up a newspaper and read stories about people who have much larger problems... or volunteer to work with those who are seriously ill or homeless. There probably are many people who would gladly trade places with you.

Share your growth. Tell a supportive friend about the changes you are making in your life. The positive feedback you receive should help you maintain your momentum.

Know that you are being watched. A silent spiritual witness is with you at all times. You can think of this witness as God or as your higher self. This witness is watching even when you are alone, so you cannot get away with backsliding to your old ways. This silent witness always is there to provide support and strength, so there is never reason to feel alone or afraid.

Burn the bridge to your old ways. Once you achieve a positive life change, mentally burn the bridge you have crossed. If you ever catch yourself backsliding to your old habits, remind yourself, I can’t go to that place anymore. The bridge is gone.

Example: Someone who has burned the bridge to her former angry outbursts might think, I’m not going to get angry with my husband. I burned that bridge. I’m going to tell my husband that I love him, then suggest that we sit down together and solve our problem.

Make your fears fear you. Our fears stalk us, keeping us on the defensive and preventing us from taking chances and making positive changes. We need to stalk our fears instead.

List your fears, and target one. Rather than hide from it, seek opportunities to confront it directly on your terms.
Example: Confront a fear of public speaking by standing up in front of a group of close friends to make a toast.
Sometimes you will fail, but that does not mean the fear has won -- you can keep stalking it until you succeed. Select a new fear to confront each week.

Bottom Line/Personal interviewed Gary Null, PhD, one of the foremost advocates of alternative medicine and natural healing. Based in New York City, he hosts Natural Living with Gary Null, a syndicated public radio program. He has written more than 70 books on self-empowerment, natural healing and public health issues, including The Complete Encyclopedia of Natural Healing (Bottom Line Books, 800-678-5835,www.BottomLineSecrets.com/store), and has produced more than 20 films and videos on health and nutrition topics. www.garynull.com.

 

How to Be Happy When You Have Every Reason Not to Be

Scott Hamilton

Figure skater Scott Hamilton, who won a gold medal in the 1984 Winter Olympics, has had to endure more than his share of tough times.
A childhood digestive disease, never properly diagnosed, permanently stunted Hamilton’s growth and nearly killed him. His mother died of cancer while he was in his teens. Hamilton was dropped by the Ice Capades just two years after his Olympic win, putting his professional skating career in doubt. He battled testicular cancer in 1997 and a brain tumor (benign) in 2004.
Hamilton once lived in fear of the problems that seemed to lurk around every corner, but now he remains happy and optimistic even during difficult times. Here are his secrets for happiness in a very imperfect world... 

Consider all problems temporary... and temporary problems unimportant. As a skater, I knew that I would fall when I tried to learn a new jump. I also knew that these falls were irrelevant as long as I got up after each one and tried again.
I try to apply this lesson to my life off the ice as well. I might have a problem right now, but "right now" is just a moment in time that soon will be gone forever... and my "problem" really is just the starting point of a journey that will lead to a solution to my problem. Why let a starting point affect my mood? What matters is where I end up, and that’s going to be somewhere better.
It might take me a while to solve my problem, but I will start to feel better as soon as I begin working toward a solution. I find tremendous joy in tackling my problems. It breaks the "victim mentality" -- a sure path to unhappiness -- and puts me back in control of my life. 

Don’t face problems alone. Men’s figure skating is a solo sport, but I still needed a coach to get the most out of my abilities. Life often seems like a solo sport, too, but finding a coach -- a spouse or a friend with whom we can share our problems -- will make our attempts to solve those problems more enjoyable and more successful. Humans are social animals, as my coach, Don Laws, used to remind me. We’re not designed to face problems alone, so we shouldn’t try to do so. 

Find strength in challenges. My mother’s struggle with breast cancer taught me that there are positive aspects to even the most devastating losses. For three years, my mother continued to earn a living... work toward her master’s degree... and raise three children, even as she endured chemotherapy.
As awful as it was when she died at age 49, the lessons I learned from her strength in the face of the challenges were the most important lessons of my life. I had been an underachiever as a boy, but following her example transformed me into an Olympic champion.
We cannot completely control the events of our lives, but we can control how we respond to them. It’s this that defines us. I choose to be happy about the wonderful example my mother set for me in those final years, not sad about her death. 

Don’t delay difficult conversations. My first inclination when someone does something that bothers me is to bite my lip and remain quietly unhappy. Over the years, I have learned that stoicism only prolongs my displeasure. As much as I dislike confrontations, they often are the quickest path back to happiness. 

Example: My agent, Bob Kain, no longer had much time for me by the early 1990s. He had added new clients and taken on a management role in his firm. My career was suffering -- but for years, I said nothing. I didn’t want to damage my relationship with Bob. Instead, I let my resentment build until our relationship was almost irreparably harmed. After I finally spoke up, we found a solution -- a different agent at the company would handle the details of my career while Bob served as adviser. I could have avoided years of unhappiness if I had just voiced my displeasure sooner. 

Sell your smile... even to yourself. I once saw Olympic gold medalist Kristi Yamaguchi miss her landing on a triple lutz and fall hard on her back in front of a large crowd. She must have been in pain -- not to mention disappointed and embarrassed -- but she immediately bounced back up with a huge smile on her face. The remainder of her routine was flawless.
The crowd gave Kristi a big ovation. Her smile had convinced them that the fall didn’t matter -- everything was okay.
Kristi’s smile also convinced Kristi herself that everything was okay. It’s easy to lose confidence and feel bad when we "fall." Smiling or laughing releasesendorphins, hormones that trigger feelings of happiness and well-being. In other words, we don’t have to wait until we are happy to smile -- we can use a smile to make ourselves happy.
I put this lesson to use in my own life by searching for the humor in my darkest moments. If I can laugh at myself, my problems seem less daunting. 

Example: I was scheduled to skate in Peoria, Illinois, just hours after I learned that I had testicular cancer. I feared that this could be the last performance of my life, and I desperately wanted to do well -- but my mind was on my cancer, not my skating. Suddenly I noticed a woman in the front row ignoring my routine entirely and casually applying makeup. It made me chuckle to think that this performance that was so important to me was so meaningless to her. My mood immediately lightened, and I was able to get through the rest of the routine. 

Fight for change. The world changes. We change. It’s inevitable. The only way to remain happy is to embrace change and enjoy it. We need to take pleasure in meeting new challenges and take pleasure in the surprises that lie around every corner. The changes that we fear often make our lives much better in the end. 

Example: When the Ice Capades didn’t renew my contract, I feared that my professional skating career was over. As it turned out, getting fired led to one of the greatest successes of my life. My agent, Bob Kain, and I started a rival skating tour, Stars on Ice, that is still going strong and earning money today -- while the Ice Capades folded years ago.

Bottom Line/Personal interviewed Scott Hamilton, who won a gold medal in figure skating in the 1984 Winter Olympics in Sarajevo and cofounded the Stars on Ice professional figure-skating tour in 1986. He is a member of the World Figure Skating Hall of Fame and author of The Great Eight: How to Be Happy (Even When You Have Every Reason to Be Miserable)(Thomas Nelson). www.scottcares.com.

Persist: An Excerpt from the Ten Things to Do When Your Life Falls Apart

- By Daphne Rose Kingma
------------------------------------------------------------
"Nothing in this world can take the place of persistence. Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful people with talent. Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education will not; the world is full of educated derelicts. Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent. The slogan 'press on' has solved and always will solve the problems of the human race." --Wolfgang von Goethe

Persistence is the spiritual grace that allows you to continue to act with optimism even when you feel trapped in the pit of hell. It is the steadfast, continual, simple -- and at times excruciatingly difficult -- practice of trudging forward until the difficult present you're scared will go on forever is replaced by a future that has a new color scheme.

Persistence isn't fluffy or humorous (although it can benefit from frequent infusions of humor) or stupidly optimistic. Persistence is intention embodied, repeatedly, in action. It's seeing something through, even when it seems like you're not getting anywhere, because inside you know a solution is coming toward you that is different from the present, and that when it arrives it will hold a cornucopia of new possibilities.

Somewhere in the distance, your future is holding out its arms to meet you, ready to bring you whatever you've had the courage to ask for. It is already holding in trust whatever you have the courage to keep steadfastly moving toward. It wants to join hands with you to create the next chapter of your life, but it won't -- it can't -- if you stay riveted to the same spot, whining and complaining, passive, fearful, and resentful. That's because the future always comes toward us in exactly the spirit in which we approach it -- hands and heart open, or souls withered in defeat.

When you decide to persist, it's not because you're an idiot, not because you don't know from the inside or from looking around just how dire your current circumstances are. It's because in the face of perhaps thousands of reasons to be discouraged, you choose to be bold, to carry on, to keep on duking it out, no matter how grizzly, tedious, intractable, or seemingly hopeless the present situation may seem. The power of persistence is required especially when we're dealing with intense, emotionally devastating circumstances or bunches of hugely difficult things that have stacked up all at once. When you're facing a diagnosis of Graves' disease, a taxi accident, and the imminent death of your sister, and your boyfriend has just moved to Japan, you will definitely need to call on persistence.

Sometimes the persistence that can transform a whole life lasts just a few minutes -- as in the case of the soldier who slings his buddy's bleeding body up over his shoulder and lugs him across the desert until he can deliver him to the medivac copter. Sometimes it is a life's work, an Erin Brockovich-like crusade of endlessly knocking on doors, talking to strangers, gathering evidence, and poring through mountains of papers until, finally, you uncover the facts that can change everything.

Persistence is guts. Stick-to-itiveness. Determination. The willingness to repeat and repeat and repeat until you've achieved the desired effect. Persistence says: Don't give up!
In this sense, persistence is visionary. Expectant. A sacred journey resplendent with hope. When you persist you know, on a visceral level, that you are enacting your part in the invisible contract between you and the cosmos. Instead of feeling powerless, you feel alive. Instead of feeling hopeless, you have a sense that you're on the path to somewhere. Instead of feeling like a victim, you feel like a person of action; in your deep self you know that this choice for action will one day be rewarded with a response.

Persistence is the journey of effectiveness that allows you to hope. It is the energy that wants to get things done, to assist you in moving from crisis to solution. Persistence can take you from debt to solvency, from heartbreak to true love, from sickness to health, from foreclosure to having a home. Emotionally, it can take you from fear to joy; spiritually, it can deliver you from despair to peace. So persist, be steadfast in your undertaking, for only the path consistently traveled can deliver you to the outcome you long for.

Whatever your battle, it's never easy. The monsters never just slink back into the woods with their tails between their legs. They will fight you for every breath. There is a battle in this universe for every inch of light, and only those who persist will rise to behold the astonishing light of the sunrise.** To comment on this article or to read comments about this article, go here.

About the Author:

Daphne Rose Kingma is the author of The Ten Things to Do When Your Life Falls Apart. Her bestsellers include Coming Apart, The Men We Never Knew and The Future of Love. A six-time guest on Oprah, she has also appeared on numerous other television shows and media outlets. A charismatic speaker, she has presented keynotes and seminars to audiences throughout the United States and Europe. She lives in Santa Barbara, California. Visit her online at http://the10thingsbook.com.

Excerpted with permission from The Ten Things to Do When Your Life Falls Apart © 2010 by Daphne Rose Kingma. Printed with permission of New World Library, Novato, CA.

The Paradox of Our Age

Dr. Bob Moorehead

The paradox of our time in history is that we have taller buildings, but shorter tempers; wider freeways, but narrower viewpoints; we spend more, but have less; we buy more, but enjoy it less.

We have bigger houses and smaller families; more conveniences, but less time; we have more degrees, but less sense; more knowledge, but less judgment; more experts, but more problems; more medicine, but less wellness.

We drink too much, smoke too much, spend too recklessly, laugh too little, drive too fast, get angry too quickly, stay up too late, get up too tired, read too seldom, watch TV too much, and pray too seldom.

We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values. We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often. We've learned how to make a living, but not a life; we've added years to life, not life to years.

We've been all the way to the moon and back, but have trouble crossing the street to meet the new neighbor. We've conquered outer space, but not inner space; we've done larger things, but not better things.

We've cleaned up the air, but polluted the soul; we've split the atom, but not our prejudice.

We write more, but learn less; we plan more, but accomplish less. We've learned to rush, but not to wait; we have higher incomes, but lower morals; we have more food, but less appeasement; we build more computers to hold more information to produce more copies than ever, but have less communication; we've become long on quantity, but short on quality.

These are the times of fast foods and slow digestion; tall men, and short character; steep profits, and shallow relationships. These are the times of world peace, but domestic warfare; more leisure, but less fun; more kinds of food, but less nutrition.

These are days of two incomes, but more divorce; of fancier houses, but broken homes. These are days of quick trips, disposable diapers, throw away morality, one-night stands, overweight bodies, and pills that do everything from cheer, to quiet, to kill.  

It is a time when there is much in the show window and nothing in the stockroom; a time when technology has brought this letter to you, and a time when you can choose to make a difference; indeed these are the times!

Social Networking on the Internet by Susan Ayers Walker

Social Networking on the Internet: The New Way to Make Friends and Have Fun

Susan Ayers Walker

SmartSilvers Alliance

ant to know which South Florida nightclubs have a senior-friendly reputation? A member of the social networking site Eons recently put together a list. Meanwhile, several AARP networkers shared opinions about dentists in Los Angeles. And would you like to meet some nearby singles in your age group? Members of the Gather social networking site regularly swap information on the subject.These are a few of the thousands of ways that seniors are exchanging information, making new friends and keeping up with older friends on the Internet’s social networking sites.
Networking sites, such as Facebook and MySpace, sprang up several years ago, largely for Web-savvy young people. Today, there’s a growing number of social networks specifically for adults who are interested in travel, health, dating, politics, second careers, movies and hundreds of other subjects.
How they work: Social networking sites typically ask you to create a profile about yourself that includes basic information, such as the city where you live, your hobbies and other interests, as well as a network nickname by which members can refer to you. Members usually include pictures in their profiles. There’s rarely a charge to join a network, but most sites have lots of advertising.
Once you register on a social networking site, you can search for people with similar interests, location or hobbies. You can get in touch with other members by posting a message on a person’s profile, or by joining a discussion group. Only the site has your real e-mail address unless you give it to another member -- which you may want to do after developing a trusting relationship. Social networking sites usually have blogs that let users post comments, exchange views and ask for advice on a wide variety of subjects.
Examples: One member of a networking site recently asked for information on jobs for seniors in the Chicago area. Another wanted advice on repairing a wooden sailboat, and many more were still exchanging views on the November election.
SOCIAL NETWORKING SITES
Some of the best social networking sites for adults...
Eons (www.eons.com) is a social network for older adults interested in leading healthy and fulfilling lives. One of the most popular features of the site is the Longevity Calculator, which asks a series of health-related questions and then estimates your life expectancy. Among the popular social groups at Eons are those that discuss spirituality, pop music and saving money.
AARP Online Community (www.aarp.org/onlinecommunity) is a new feature of the country’s largest organization for seniors and is growing strong. As it grows, the social network will connect more and more adults interested in such subjects as entertainment, education, health, careers, sports and volunteering. You don’t have to be an AARP member to take part in its social networking.
Gather (www.gather.com) is a social network with an especially large number of interest groups, including those for adults interested in horror movies, baking bread or writing poetry. When members use Gather, they build up credits that can be redeemed at retailers such as Amazon.com, the Gap, Starbucks and Target.
SPECIAL INTERESTS
Many social networking sites are now aimed at people with specific interests...
Literature. At Goodreads (www.goodreads.com), you can network with people who love to read books and want to exchange information about authors, best sellers and publishing industry events.
Women’s issues. iVillage Connect (http://connect.ivillage.com) is one of the few social networking sites devoted solely to women, covering a wide range of topics from health, careers and relationships to shopping and style.
Careers. Of the many sites for career-minded networkers, LinkedIn (www.linkedin.com) is one of the most popular. Members exchange information about career interests and skill sets, post their résumés and invite people they have met in business to join their online network of business colleagues. Your network expands as you are introduced to other businesspeople -- a bit like exchanging business cards, except it is done online in this network.
Personal finance. ValueForum (www.valueforum.com) is one of a growing number of specialized networking sites that charge for membership. For about $21 a month, members exchange information about their personal experiences with a wide variety of timely investments, including municipal bonds, energy-related stocks, real estate, foreign equities and gold.
Language learners. LiveMocha (www.livemocha.com) is a network for language learners, allowing them to connect with native speakers throughout the world. LiveMocha supports learners of English, French, German, Hindi, Mandarin Chinese and Spanish and is expected to add more languages.
To find other social networks on the Web, enter "social networking" into Google or another search engine. To find a site for people with a specific interest, add the name of that interest in the search box. Example: "Social networking cooking."
SMART NETWORKING
With so many social networking sites available, it’s difficult to choose the ones that are right for you... and then to use them to your best advantage.
Visit one or two networks frequently for about a month to decide whether you’re connecting with like-minded people. If the site is not for you, remove your profile by deleting all the information you provided, including pictures.
But if you do like the site, be sure your profile includes a picture, either of yourself or something that represents your hobby. If you don’t, the profile won’t attract many interested networkers.
Be cautious about giving out your phone number, street address, real e-mail address or other personal information. Though the majority of networkers are honest, a few disreputable people always sneak in, sometimes to sell you a product or lobby a point of view that doesn’t interest you.
It’s usually best to remain online friends with a fellow networker unless the person can provide references that you can check (mutual friend, church or club affiliations).

Bottom Line/Retirement interviewed Susan Ayers Walker, technology journalist and consultant who advises companies on technology applications for older adults. Her company, SmartSilvers Alliance, is located in Menlo Park, California, www.network.smartsilvers.com.